he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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