Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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