Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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