You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
