You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
