Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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