I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
