i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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