If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
birth control should be required to get into college
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
