He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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