I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
