what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize