Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
