turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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