how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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