I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
