Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
