if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
