go do what you do best...puke behind churches
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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