I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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