I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
