he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am one with the molecules
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
