wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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