You really coming over, don't trick.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
