You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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