Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
