Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
