he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
