So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
