I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
