i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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