five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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