"it" just moved
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Drunk is not a location!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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