so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
