Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
