i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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