We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
