Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(619): View more from California

Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

(323): View more from California

How mad was your dog?

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(904): View more from Florida

I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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(406): View more from Montana

I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill

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