Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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