Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
