Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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