Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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