I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
