you have to choose: penises or morals?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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