I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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