and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
