oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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