I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
