I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
