I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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