If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
