I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
