just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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