yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
