apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
well you can't waste a boner
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
