Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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