sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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