We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
