if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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