and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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