bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.