Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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(616): I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off! http://tfl.nu/woe1

Replies (50) Good night (3488) Bad night (834)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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(304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w

Replies (21) Good night (4819) Bad night (819)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711

Replies (33) Good night (8987) Bad night (1268)
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(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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(334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl

Replies (58) Good night (16826) Bad night (3858)
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(917): View more from New York City

They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.

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(917): They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party. http://tfl.nu/9044

Replies (8) Good night (3668) Bad night (1230)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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(814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac

Replies (10) Good night (3554) Bad night (1241)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.

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(705): I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat. http://tfl.nu/3hhj

Replies (12) Good night (2628) Bad night (1254)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...

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(832): the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left... http://tfl.nu/9li6

Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (1352)
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(351): View more from Massachusetts

I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

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(351): I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh. http://tfl.nu/v1ee

Replies (1) Good night (1061) Bad night (522)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!

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(780): YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!! http://tfl.nu/6lp0

Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (481)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.

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(202): We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy. http://tfl.nu/mfv7

Replies (9) Good night (1587) Bad night (706)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.

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(312): I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct. http://tfl.nu/4xpm

Replies (0) Good night (801) Bad night (415)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

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(517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn

Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (334)
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(707): View more from California

Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.

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(707): Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man. http://tfl.nu/1s6b

Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (228)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.

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(815): Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one. http://tfl.nu/esdd

Replies (3) Good night (182) Bad night (314)

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