suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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