dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking