I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
