He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
