My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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