It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
