I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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