The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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