i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
