Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
