i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
